The quarantine is, in theory, the period of forty days after childbirth in which the mother recovers from the physical and emotional changes that occurred during pregnancy and birth. A return to normal, they say.
But in practice it is very different. The forty days immediately after delivery are just the beginning of postpartum, a stage in which the mother experiences profound changes, both physically and emotionally. It is unrealistic to say that forty days are enough to assimilate the new situation, therefore we can say that, Quarantine is a myth: postpartum lasts one year.
A more realistic postnatal
Just look at the women in your environment after being mothers and add a dose of common sense to conclude that forty days are very short. It's not having a baby and nothing has happened here. It happens a lot.
Science has also noticed how important the puerperium is for mother and baby. A study by Dr. Julie Wray, from the University of Salford in England, says that the recovery period of six weeks is unattainable and mentioned that New mothers need at least one year to cover the entire postpartum.
In Babies and more With this simple photograph, a mother shows us the importance of rest after childbirth"Research shows that more realistic and favorable postnatal services for women are needed. Women need much more than six weeks to recover and should be supported beyond the current six to eight weeks after birth."
In view of this investigation and the real needs of the mother and the baby, maternal casualties are unfair. Maternity leave in most countries is very, very far from those idyllic 52 weeks, except for specific cases such as Denmark, Sweden, Norway or Canada.
Knowing the baby
As you know, the baby develops in the womb for nine months. But at birth, he is not an independent being or physically (it will take 9 to 12 months to start walking), much less is he able to look for himself. He needs his mother to survive. He needs not only his food, but also his proximity, his contact, his warmth that reminds him of the months he lived in the womb.
They are known as the second months of pregnancy or the extrogestation of the baby, that is, external gestation. Nine months after childbirth, in which the baby needs to feel the warmth, protection and comfort he felt inside his mother's womb while adapting to extrauterine life.
This minimum of nine months are key so that both the mother and the baby can recognize, enjoy and establish a secure attachment relationship. They have the right to do so.
Re-knowing yourself
From the moment we see our baby's face for the first time, women are not the same again. Definitely, being a mother changes your life. Change our physique, our emotions and of course, our priorities. We stop being the people we were and we have to re-know ourselves as mothers. Our world begins to revolve around that little person who depends on us 24 hours a day.
From the physical point of view, there are a lot of changes to get used to, a new body that we have to learn to love with its mother imperfections. Stretch marks, marks and roundness that are now a mark of our motherhood.
From an emotional point of view, although the changes are not visible, they are much deeper. We live a whirlwind of contradictory emotions, feelings we had never experienced.
Unconditional love for the baby, a new dimension of the relationship as a couple, a different position in the family (you are no longer a daughter, you have become a mother), feelings of guilt (guilt begins to accompany you now that you are a mother), fear in the face of new responsibilities, and probably insecurity, frustration and sadness at times. Thus, a mix of feelings that make us a molotov bomb of emotions about to explode. To deactivate it and recognize ourselves in our new role, we need time.
Adapting to the new rhythms
Just as the baby adapts to extrauterine life, in turn, the woman also has to adapt to her new life as a mother. The first forty days are the hardest. You survive as you can at night without sleep, tired of breastfeeding on demand all day (and night), the chaos we have at home ...
It is in the following months when the mother is really getting to the idea of ​​motherhood and the routines are gradually accommodating. Baby food and sleep set the pace once you became a mother, and of course, it is not a routine that is achieved overnight. Even many times, when you thought the sleepless nights were over and the baby starts to sleep, the night awakenings return.
Now it is a baby who sets the pace of your daily life. You have to build a routine adapting to your baby's needs. And guess what? That also takes time.
In Babies and more Postpartum recovery: everything you need to consider to take care of yourself at this stageReturning to sex life
During the six weeks after delivery, the uterus returns to its normal size and position. It is normal for blood losses to be experienced during that period in which sex generally goes to the background. But here also forty days can fall short.
An arbitrary term cannot be established to say if the woman is prepared to have sexual relations, since each one lives its own circumstances, which obviously are not only physical. It's something the couple should talk about and begin when you both feel physically and emotionally prepared To resume sex life.
It is a new stage for the couple, now they are parents and it is possible that their sex life, as they knew it, also changes. It is an adaptation that requires more time, and of course, forty days are not enough to do it.
