With the use of social networks, sharing with family, friends and even strangers is very fashionable, everything related to the arrival of a baby: from the announcement of pregnancy, the revelation of the sex of the baby and his first photos.
Now that the parties, photographs and videos to announce the sex of the baby are very fashionable and everywhere, they highlight the families who decide to wait until childbirth to know if they expect a boy or girl.
We talked to some of them who did not want to know the sex of the baby before birth and share the reason for their decision, as well as some tips for those who decide to control the anxiety of knowing it and prefer surprise.
Boy or girl?
When we learn that we are waiting for a baby, after the excitement of the moment, a million doubts and questions flood our minds: when can we see him on ultrasound? Do we wait to give the news? What will we need during pregnancy? And definitely One of the questions we probably all ask ourselves at some point is: will it be a girl or will it be a boy?
In ancient times this was impossible to know, but currently and thanks to advances in technology, from the 20th week of pregnancy we can know if we expect a boy or a girl, and thus go preparing everything we will need, according to the sex that is our baby.
In Babies and more A tip in case the ultrasound fails: do not buy anything blue or pink Hence, today the baby sex revelation parties are very fashionable, as well as the trends in room decoration that will be for him or her, which we can choose in advance and giving the touch we want according to what we We are waiting.
But although knowing the sex of the baby from pregnancy today is the most normal or common, there are still families who decide to wait. We talked to seven moms, who they tell us how they and their partners chose to wait for the surprise and not knowing the sex of your baby before delivery.
The decision not to know the sex of the baby during pregnancy
Making the decision to know if a girl or boy is expected is something that happens differently for each family, in the case of Ruby, 22 years old and mother of a three month old baby, It was something they chose when their baby was not seen on ultrasound:
"At 6 months we wanted to know but he didn't let us see. Then we went back and it didn't work, that's when we decided to wait for the birth."
On the other hand, there are those who did have it planned, even before becoming pregnant, as Coqui, 32, and two children, tells us:
From newly married my husband and I thought it would be fun and exciting to wait until birth to know if we would have a boy or a girl, although it was not something fully defined at that time.
Once we learned that we were waiting for our first baby, we resume the idea of waiting until birth. And when we share the news of pregnancy with family and friends, we externalize this desire.
In other very special cases, such as Karina, 33, and mother of a child, knowing the sex of the baby was not a priority, since she was admitted during her pregnancy due to a kidney infection, which made me know if I expected girl or boy to be secondary:
In the beginning I was more than willing to know the sex of my baby, however at almost 3 months of pregnancy I had to enter the hospital for chronic pyelonephritis and my pregnancy was considered high risk, so knowing the sex of the baby passed in the background, while his health and mine was the priority.
On the other hand, this decision can be taken because of previous experiences, where in the end, the baby does not turn out to be the sex they had told parents, as Karla, 32, and mother of two girls:
The idea of not knowing the sex of the baby arose in my pregnancy, because there is a long list of babies in my family in whom a sex came out on the ultrasound and they were born from the opposite, the last case was when I was pregnant with my oldest daughter.
In Babies and more The face they put on realizing that the girl they expected was a boy The social pressure to know the sex of the baby
While the interviewed mothers and their partners decided to wait, as we know, some people take the pregnancy as an invitation to give their opinions or advice. Sometimes this is good, because they share very valuable recommendations, but also in this case, pressure from friends and family appears to know if the baby on the way is a boy or a girl.
In the case of Irinna, 29, and mother of a daughter, even though her partner supported her in waiting, the grandparents did not think the same:
Yes there was pressure from the family, both my parents and my in-laws, they always told me to ask to know the sex of the baby, to start buying things.
Usually, one of the reasons why family or friends want to know if a woman expects a boy or girl is usually that, to buy her gifts or clothes according to sex. But Liliana, 31, and the mother of two children, recommended that if they wanted to give him something, they were useful things that didn't matter if he was a boy or a girl:
Co-workers and family pressured us on the pretext of choosing a suitable gift. I replied that diapers are always taken care of and I didn't let them bother me, I was sure what I wanted.
In the end, family and friends understood that this was the couple's decision, and as Coqui tells us, wait for the baby to be born to know if he was a boy or girl he joined them even more:
The main comments made to us were: “And how will you organize the baby shower?”, “What color are you going to buy things from?”, “If you don't want to know ok, let the doctor tell me and not I say nothing to you, ”and so on.
But once they realized that it was our decision and it would not change, most people accepted it and shared our emotion, they even organized pools where they tried to guess the sex and day of birth, we felt them more involved and the expectation, the same than us That "pressure" to know if it was a boy or girl became a greater approach of family and friends, because today it is not so common to wait until the baby is born.
How to keep it a secret and resist curiosity?
As a mother who wanted to know if I was expecting a boy or a girl, I can hardly imagine not knowing that I had expected a daughter since the fourth month of my pregnancy, and that is why this is one of the questions that I was most interested in asking those who decided to wait.
The first thing that they had to do and that according to the majority of the interviewees, was Always notify before ultrasound that they did not want to know the sex of the babyWell, as I mentioned at the beginning, today it is most common to want to know if a boy or girl is expected.
For his part, Coqui says that to calm the anxiety of knowing if a boy or girl was expected, They decided to pay more attention to other things during their pregnancy, such as preparing for childbirth:
We began to focus on preparing for what was coming, reading pregnancy and childbirth books, going to courses, and that allowed us to relax, concentrate our energies and begin to understand that, in this being parents, there are many things we can not control , so why not let things flow and accept it in such a way. Just as we did not want to know the sex, we also decided to define the date of birth, wishing it was a delivery and, if the circumstances required caesarean section, that it was by the doctor's decision.
Why recommend waiting for childbirth to know the sex of the baby
Waiting for a baby to arrive for a whole pregnancy, and not knowing if it is a boy or a girl until the day of delivery, sure gives rise to many surprises and very emotional moments. One of the main reasons why they recommend waiting is because it is a very special feeling:
"The emotion is different, it is very different when it is born and then when they tell you what it is. It is very nice to receive the surprise"says Karla, while Estefanía says that emotion is increasing since pregnancy: "A huge emotion grows in you and you look for names for both sexes, that is, if she is such a girl, and if she is a boy this".
In Babies and more And this is the face that a woman has left when giving birth to the first male child of the family in 50 yearsFor his part, Irinna shares the reasons why he enjoyed that decision and why advise other mothers to do the same:
I recommend it because it is a very beautiful illusion not knowing what life will give you, that emotion and adrenaline I loved.
And for Liliana, it's also something very nice and that gives the opportunity to live a whole series of new and different emotions:
The even greater illusion is created, you don't just imagine just one scenario, you open yourself to all the activities when you have a baby and I think, it conveys that your love is not limited to anything, you love it and you will love it for being your little one.
For fathers and mothers who decide to wait
Finally and after reading their experiences when deciding not to know the sex of their baby until birth, I asked them to share some tips for those who also chose to wait, and this was what they recommended:
- "Enjoy the uncertainty, it seems to have no end, but it is a joy when the time comes"Liliana.
- "If you decide to wait and decide together, don't be pressured by others, empower yourself and do what you decided. "Irinna
- "Do not ask and anticipate the doctor about your desire not to know the sex of the baby until birth and stand firm with the decision to wait regardless of pressure. As for clothing, buy all plain colors and with unisex prints ( in our case we didn't care if they said the typical one: pink girl, blue boy since we knew it is a stereotype that doesn't define anything) "Estefanía.
- "If it's your decision and you both agree, don't let others overwhelm you with comments about why you don't know. And it's also an exercise that, being parents, everyone fills them with unsolicited opinions. nobody but you know the best decision for your family "Coqui
- "The only advice I would give them is not to be pressured by family and friends, in the end it is your decision"Karla
- "Let them be encouraged and endure curiosity, it is very nice when the day they are born they give them the news"Ruby
- "Saving that beautiful moment of discovering sex until childbirth is a recommended experience"Karina
Undoubtedly both experiences, to know the sex of the baby during pregnancy and also to decide to wait until delivery, have their magic and give us many moments full of illusion. I honestly loved your answers and having a baby again, I would probably try trying wait until birth to know if it is a boy or a girl.
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