The popular science writer Eduard Punset has died today at 82. On several occasions we have talked about him in Babies and more for being a great student of the baby's brain, and how the experiences in the first years are vital for emotional development.
He used to investigate the functioning of the baby's mind and, based on these investigations, gave clues about how parents can act so that Children develop and grow emotionally healthy and happy.
Through numerous documentaries, interviews, and also in his books, Punset defended emotional education from the womb and the importance of emotions when it comes to raising children. With this phrase he reminded us of how wonderful the brain of children is:
"Babies are an R&D unit. Their brain establishes connections at a speed that it will never reach again. It doubles in size! What they learn at that stage will mark their adult life."
In Babies and more Why it is not possible to spoil a babyHe argued that children need close people who give them attachment, security, love and are a valid example to grow with confidence and with a good dose of self-esteem that allows them to face the vicissitudes of daily life.
"The best way to address mental illness, including crime and violence in our society, is to take care of babies. During the first two years, and also the period in the womb, many very important systems develop in the brain, especially those that we use to manage our emotional life, such as the stress response, for example. Early childhood is really the basis of mental health, "he said.
Five keys to raising emotionally healthy babies
Years ago, in an interview for El País Semanal da five tips to make a baby a capable and happy adult that today we wanted to rescue and with whom we cannot agree more. We comment below:
The baby is dependent. Do not let him cry.
Some argue that it is good to let the child cry for a while or until he gets tired. It is proven that this generates excessive stress on babies, which they cannot manage. They can not get rid of your own cortisol. Adults have discovered ways to manage stress: call a friend or have a drink or tea. But babies, no! And they find very small things stressful because survival is going for it!
Babies need us 24 hours a day; We are his attachment figure and the only thing they know. Crying is a request for help, and if we let them cry without coming, they feel threatened. A baby, like any mammalian baby that feels insecure and unprotected by being away from its mother, feel fear.
In reaction to this threat, he cries and his brain increases the secretion of cortisol, the stress hormone. The consequences of continued stress during childhood creep during the rest of life.
In Babies and more Baby crying is a cry for help (and their future will depend on our reaction)Self-esteem is vital. Tell him he wants it
At six years old you must have two fundamental things or you will not have them anymore: the first, enough self-esteem to deal with the neighbor; and the second, the consequence of how well you have been treated: that you feel like continuing to deepen the knowledge of others. To get them, it is essential that they love you and have let you know.
Self-esteem is defined as the appreciation or consideration one has of oneself and is fundamental for all people, and especially for the development of children. How they look, through what we tell others, affects their way of being, acting with the environment and interacting with others.
Good self-esteem is the basis of our children's mental health. Usually send positive messages that help strengthen it.
In Babies and more Nine keys to strengthen children's self-esteem
A baby does not need social life
There are mothers who leave their child in a nursery because they believe that the baby needs to socialize. Absolutely! What they need is attention and care from someone who knows them well. We have to rethink how we take care of babies, and by this I do not mean that the woman stays at home! But it is imperative to create systems to help parents.
There are many parents who currently take their children to daycare centers, mostly because they have no alternative, or because they consider it the best because they need to go to daycare to socialize. But the truth is that it is not essential or necessary during the first years of life for the correct socio-emotional development of your child.
Rewarding is better than punishing
Children react better to rewards. Attention, parents and grandparents: it is better to ignore the evils of babies and reward them when they do things right! Different is when it comes to teenagers. With them the punishment is more effective. Why? We do not know yet, but it may have to do with requiring more intelligence to change when you are wrong than to repeat successes when you are rewarded for it.
Linked to self-esteem, it is more effective to reinforce positive behaviors by praising successes instead of always highlighting their mistakes as if we were a large red pen studding an exam.
Praise reinforces the personality of the children, they are a way to show that we value them and help improve their self-esteem. And from solid self-esteem, learning will be much more effective.
Emotional education
The decrease in violence and altruism are linked to emotional learning. And for this it is key to teach the child to manage their emotions. Doing so increases student performance by more than ten percent. Shown. The next step is to unlearn, renounce the prejudices that prevent us from moving forward. Children, instead of asking them when they leave school "what have you learned today?", We should ask "what have you unlearned today?".
In Babies and more, seven keys to prevent our children from being emotionally illiterateAs we can see, they are important questions about which we often do not stop to think, and above all some very simple ones to do, such as telling our children that we love them, dedicating time to emotional education or rewarding their good behaviors and achievements.
It also reminds us that daycare is not necessary to socialize, although at the moment in our environment it is necessary for many other reasons.
Anyway, if we get even close to these Five Punset tips to make a baby a capable and happy adult, we will be contributing to its development in the best possible way.
Undoubtedly many other factors will influence your future happiness, but let's say we are opening some doors that are also our responsibility as parents.
