I promised you to continue collecting ideas, techniques and tools that I have used or that other parents who one day decided breed whipping They have been applying and they can be part of the resources you go to to solve the crises that may arise. Here are some of them.
The technique of laughter
The technique of laughter It works great. Laughter, even if forced, triggers a physical and hormonal mechanism that gives us a feeling of well-being and better oxygenation. Laughing wildly when we notice the anger sprout, before it rises and dominates us, allows us to break that dangerous moment and come to think more clearly and humorously.
Laughing, a good laugh, is an immediate and intensive therapy against anger. They are two mechanisms that trigger incompatible physiological responses. Laughter kills anger.
After that laugh we can continue in the same stressful situation, but we will have deceived the rage that wanted to dominate us. We can then act more rationally. It seems like a very simple trick, but it works.
To use this technique you have to know how to look at those physical manifestations of anger to arrive on time. When smiling and especially when laughing, the physical messages that we send to the brain will be changed and we will mislead the mechanism that makes the rage jump. By changing the message that reaches the brain and forcing us to laugh, we will change the thoughts and sensations.
The talisman technique
Another easily achievable technique is the visualization of the love we feel for our child. When you feel the enormous love that your child awakens, how happy it makes you in your life, it seems as if anger is scared. And he goes.
The technique is to have a talisman secret to turn to and consider it that way, something that accompanies and protects us. Repeat mentally and verbally a phrase like "I love you my son" or something similar, having become accustomed to visualize the child in our arms, or at some time especially happy and tender, focus on that feeling and dissipate anger, allowing us to pass the danger of acting dominated by anger, to let us do it from love, respect and tranquility.
When We think about the love we feel for our son it is much easier to achieve the inner strength that allows to channel violent impulses or anger into positive energy.
Sometimes we can feel that the talisman slips from our hands if we are too overwhelmed or very tired, but with practice its use becomes easier. Before yelling at the child or giving him a swipe, you think “I love you my son” and let that feeling invade you for a couple of seconds, with total intensity, even imagining it, if we prefer, as a great light that floods us. There is no longer the desire to whip, but to accompany and hug that little one who exhausts us but fills us with happiness.
The observer technique
Obviously the complicity of the couple and other people who are usually in our environment, to whom we must share our concern and of the decision we have made not to use screams or whipping with our children, it is important. The environment, of course, can help us, although sometimes it can be an additional difficulty if the people we trust are in favor of minimizing the importance of these forms of treatment.
Explain to those around us that we have decided not to shout and not beat our children whipping is a huge commitment, since we will not only observe ourselves or our children will observe us, but other adults will have heard our intention, they will reinforce and they will applaud the advances, or, at least, they will watch us.
It is usually a strong incentive and is also used when someone wants to quit tobacco, for example. It works if the environment does not trick us, of course. Otherwise it may not be a good idea.
The accomplice technique
But, apart from the help of the couple or the usual environment, we can go to the accomplice, the committed friend that has gone through the same or is in the same line of action. Together we can help each other better understand and comfort each other.
I have two friends like that. For six years we started helping each other in raising our children. Sometimes I still call them at odd hours to explain something that has happened, or what I think, asking for advice and sharing experiences. We have become, over the years, more than brothers, we consider ourselves family and know each other's soul almost as well as our own, telling us truths of those that hurt with the assurance that the other assumes them from the knowledge of our love huge.
Look for friends who take care of their children in this way It is of enormous help. Even if we cannot live with them, if we see them from time to time and the daily contact is virtual or by phone, they will reinforce, help, understand and encourage us, in addition to allowing us to share experiences that will be the reference that our family environment may Don't be prepared to offer us.
Be heard and feel understood It is very important not to give up to difficulties. After a crisis, overcome or not successfully, there is nothing like talking to a friend, crying or congratulating us, feeling that someone cares what we do and our efforts.
Conclusion
Using the visualization of love for our child, laughter or relying on observers who know about our commitment and friends who share our idea of parenting are some of the techniques we can use to demonstrate that it is possible educate and raise without scourges.
