Murphy's law says that if a toast falls on the ground the side that will contact him is that of butter. Applied to the world of pregnant women, it will be time for a woman to wait for a baby chosen by other mothers to explain how her births were.
If they were more or less pleasant or normal, the comment may even be welcome, a starting point to talk about it, but the logical thing, according to the aforementioned law, is that, those who explain your birth, do it with great detail , explaining how horrible it was. That is why today we are going to talk about those mothers who tell their bad births to pregnant women.
We don't know how to listen
One of the problems of today's society (I specify, although I don't know if this is now or much longer) is that very few people listen to others. Everyone wants to tell their things, explain what happened to them, record what they lived, how they lived and how they got over it (maybe to show how well they did it, maybe because talking about it helps overcome it).
Then it can happen that other people want to do the same thing and hey, talking is great, but having to listen seems to even bother: "With the problem one has, I'm like for others to tell me theirs."
It has often happened to me to meet an old friend, or meet people I have met on the internet, and realize that all I do is listen to what they have to tell me, as if they had to update my database on them with everything that has changed his life since I don't know about them, almost without letting him talk.
Then they leave so happy and they still tell you that “we have to stay more often”, that I don't know why, because the more often we stay, the less updates they will have to offer.
Well, something similar happens with pregnant women. It is to see you pregnant that already appear by mouth, as if they escaped, the words "Oh, well, I'm going to tell you how my birth was ...".
We do not think that it may not interest
And hey, there are women who are eager to know and know other people's experiences, good and bad, but there are others who have expectations about their birth and a confidence in their chances of having a good birth, that if they go all day listening “to me it happened to me ”or“ they made me ”can come to the day of giving birth too scared by the“ what if it happens to me too? ”.
Everyone knows that a birth can go very well as it can go very badly, however The decision to know the details of the bad births should not be from the one who counts them, but from the person who receives the information.
It is as if, saving the distances, which are many (forgive me if the example is not the right one), a person is diagnosed with cancer and, when he explains it to others, there is someone who says: “Yes, my mother too He was diagnosed with cancer and died within a few weeks. ”
A pregnant woman may want to have information and seek to satisfy the doubts she may have, may want to know what could go wrong, to anticipate, she may want to know what the hospital professionals she will be giving birth to are like, but she probably won't take a medical book with the "medical problems caused during childbirth", because that excess information sure will bother you (You know, the typical "I don't know why I read so much about this, that I've been even more scared than I was").
When you need to talk the most ...
So, the most curious thing is that when a woman is pregnant for the first time she can learn a lot, a lot, from the women who have already been through it. The problem is that what she wants to know is not always what others tell.
The more you need to ask, the more questions you have, the more you have concerns, which may be about childbirth, such as anything else after childbirth, the information you receive is often limited to the problems and misfortunes that the other mothers lived, becoming her, the one that perhaps needs more support, in the scarf for the snot of others.
How easy the world would be if we dedicated ourselves to talk less and listen more, how easy if we could recognize the gestures and looks of those who do not know how to tell you that "now is not the time to explain this to me" and how easy if instead of talk to help ourselves let's talk to help others (and because they ask for it).
